memesoftheton | TDM II

TDM II

The Ton Test Drive Meme II

Welcome to the The Ton's second Test Drive Meme!

Applications will OPEN on the 1st of June. Players with characters already in game are also welcome to top-level with them. However, we ask that all TDM-related prompts stay on the TDM post itself.

If you do write a top-level, please make sure to include your character's name and canon in the subject field - regardless of whether your character is already in game or not.

Please note that the Test Drive Meme does not require an invite in order to participate - submitting an application does.

NAVIGATION.

🌿 Arrival • Welcome Drinks • The Greenhouse Effect • Skinny Dipping • Give You Butterflies [NSFW] • That Belongs in A Museum • Jump to Comments 🌿

🌱 Applications • FAQ • Rules • Full Navigation 🌱

Arrival

I. WELCOME

You don't remember when or where you fell asleep exactly...

Perhaps it's the tickling sensation of a low hanging tree branch brushing against your nose or the feel of the slightly damp grass underneath you that causes you to awaken but when you do you'll find yourself lying amongst a glade of wisteria trees. You're not alone - nymphs of the trees laugh and dance about you, clearly amused at the new arrival. Along with them, your new loyal servant is here on Pheme's bidding. How this servant looks is different to each arrival. Some are saddled with short, stout butlers, others are welcomed by towering, busty maids. Regardless of their appearance, they introduce themselves with a kindness and warmth that is simultaneously reassuring and strangely impossible to resist when they beckon you to follow them from the grove and out into the city of Andovale.

The closest structure within sight is the Palace and its grounds. It is here that the Lady Pheme resides and from here that she rules over the city, your servant explains to you. You have been selected and brought here personally by her. It is she who assigned the servant to guide you through the regency-inspired city that is your new home.

Eventually, they will bring you to your new residence within the outskirts of somewhere called the "Trade Quarter". You are now the resident of a room within one of the many imposing town houses which make up the Grand Crescent. Throughout your stay here the servant will be your own personal butler or maid. This is where all new arrivals will be living for the time being you are told. Your servant will also give you a crash course on life here and the concept of Thumos - the energy or life force that keeps Andovale and all life within it going - including you now that you are here. It's generated through acts of intimacy, whether that be physical or emotional.

Once you have been shown to your room, you are given two things: a network communication device and a letter. The letter reads as follows:

My dearest reader,

Welcome to Andovale.

The delights of our fair city are yours to explore.

I do hope that you make your stay here a most interesting one. I shall be frightfully disappointed if you do not - and we do not want that, do we?

You will hear from me again very soon.

Yours Truly,

Lady Pheme

You are free to wander about and explore the house and its surroundings as you please. It's certainly spacious enough. As well as your own quarters, each of the townhouses of the Grand Crescent have large communal areas, which includes the kitchens (although why you'd like to go there when your servant can fetch any delicacies you'd like for you!), a dining room, a parlour with its own small library, two drawing rooms (somewhere you can go to chill out basically - harp music anyone?) and a generously sized garden.

Strangely, unlike most accurate regency townhouses, there do not appear to be any servant's quarters - perhaps these servants don't need to rest? Or they go somewhere else entirely for that?

Why not introduce yourself to your new housemates? Or enjoy some tea and cakes that have been prepared for you personally by your retainer, which they seem to keep insisting on bringing to you?

II. AN INVITATION

Whether you're brand new to Andovale or a an established ~~if a little unwilling~~ resident by now, your assigned maid or butler will track you down. They are not empty-handed and they carry a silver tray, upon which is an envelope with a wax seal bearing the letter "P". Inside the envelope is an invitation. An invitation from your benevolent ruler, Lady Pheme herself.

Each character will receive an invitation identical in wording to the one below:

EVENT AT THE PLEASURE GARDENS

YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME HERE

Is requested to attend an exclusive event at the PLEASURE GARDENS, on 27th of May current.

Admission to the attraction begins at 6 o'clock p. m.

Wear something green for this special occasion.

Lady Pheme

Your servant can help you find something appropriate to wear - or not appropriate, the choice is entirely yours, after all. If you decide to go with their guidance, it is notable that they seem a little less decisive in the sort of outfit you should be wearing for this event - only, as Pheme said, that it should be something green. An evening gathering surely must require formal wear though and they will eventually press upon you the importance of wearing Regency Full Dress for the night ahead.

You may come to regret this.

Note: Even though it's a little different from the norm, this event will still count as a ball and all attendees will get 10 Reputation Points✨, just for showing up and looking respectable. Indulging with the theme and wearing an acceptable green outfit will also gain attendees a further 5 Points✨.

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WELCOME DRINKS

CW: alcohol

So, you've received an exclusive invitation to the Pleasure Gardens' latest pop-up attraction from Lady Pheme herself? How exciting! Ordinarily, the Gardens are open to anyone willing to pay the small amount of Thumos required to enter, but tonight it seems that only those brought in from other worlds are permitted access. You're getting an exclusive preview of the attraction, one of the guards at the gates tells you.

One of their colleagues will escort you down the torch flame lit pathways, through the gardens to the centre - the open space where all events like this take place.

Tonight, that open space is not so open. Besides the vast outdoor ballroom floor, in front of you is a giant glass house - basically, a large fancy green house between you and I. These are often found at grand country houses to show off and cultivate exotic, never before seen plants from far off lands. You've been brought here for the unveiling of this attraction. How such a thing could possibly be temporary seems highly improbable, but that's Pheme for you.

Feel free to begin the evening with mingling and dancing as befitting of any ball, but before the night is over you will feel yourself propelled forward to join the queue to get into the "Palm House," almost as if an invisible hand is shoving you forwards. You're even handed an extremely green and theme appropriate alcoholic beverage to consume in the queue while you wait. It's all very civilised.

Oddly, this drink won't get you drunk in the usual way, despite the alcohol content. Instead you will find yourself imbued with a hefty sense of glee and eagerness for adventure. It's all to help ease you into this experience, after all.

You're admitted to the Palm House one at a time - it's fine, you'll see your friends inside! Just as you set foot through the doors, your head is filled with the sound of a woman's voice, soft and beguiling:

"Dearest gentle member of the ton - what happens in the Palm House, stays in the Palm House. You are free tonight."

Note: For those that don't drink, there's also an alcohol free version. It looks completely identical to the boozy version.

Whether that drink has got you in the spirit or not, entering the Palm House is worth your while. All of those who enter will instantly receive 20 Reputation Points✨. And in case it wasn't already obvious, on this very special of occasions and the debut of her attraction, Pheme is turning a blind eye to what happens to you all in there. These things need a whole lot of Thumos to run properly and some of you will be doing her a huge favour... you just don't know it yet.

There will be no NPCs present in the Palm House, only your characters. Tonight is an exclusive preview for Pheme's Chosen, after all.

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THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT

Entering the Palm House is a rather surreal experience to say the least. Sure, it looked pretty grand from the outside, but that's nothing compared to what greets you inside...

You might have been expecting a typical large tropical greenhouse as per any botanical garden visit, if such things exist to you back home. However, this particular green house appears to contain nothing less than a few dozen acres of rain forest. If the word "Tardis" resided in the vocabulary of the Ton's residents then it would surely be applied here. Pheme's out to show off again.

The moment you take a step or two through that door you feel strangely disoriented. Take a few steps more - perhaps you change your mind and decide to head back to the door you just came through. Only when you do, you'll find that the door is no longer there.

There is another door out of here but that involves crossing the length of the exhibit - and as you can now see quite clearly, that is not going to be such an easy task. There are paths to take and to (hopefully) stick to, but they seem to crisscross at every turn you take and go in all different directions. Thick rainforest surrounds you on all sides, its dense foliage extending towards what you can see of the glass ceiling and the night sky beyond that.

Pheme hasn't been quite cruel enough to leave you wandering through the rainforest by moonlight alone. Many of the plants here glow with an unnaturally bright bioluminescence - and there is more. Every now and again during your travels you will see the light of a of lantern darting amongst the trees, accompanied by alluring and lilting female voices, often laughing with delight. They might seem a little familiar to you.

It seems that the tree nymphs (or dryads) from the wisteria grove have sisters and they're making themselves quite at home in the Palm House. If you happen to catch a decent view of one of them, you'll find yourself face to face with quite possibly one of the most beautiful - not to mention scantily clad - women you have ever laid eyes on. They won't stick around long though. Make the mistake of trying to follow one of them and you'll find yourselves off the path and even more lost and disoriented than you were before.

You might be really regretting your choice of dress right about now - even if you are camouflaged with all of the greenery.

Note: If your character does not manage to find the exit (or one of the magic wreaths mentioned below) then they will only remain trapped in the Palm House until dawn. After that time period they will themselves slipping into a deep slumber, only to awaken right back in their cosy bed within the Grand Crescent (or wherever they've now made their home) a few hours later. You can thank your servant for that.

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SKINNY DIPPING

CW: large bodies of water, possible nudity

Unsurprisingly, it's hot in the forest, and the chances are that you didn't exactly come in here dressed for this.

While the dryads have made themselves at home on the land inside the Palm House, their naiad cousins (or water nymphs) have made themselves comfortable within the many rainforest pools. You can hear their delighted giggling as you traverse the forest and they will even call out to you in alluring tones, somehow knowing your name. It's impossible to resist following the sound and when you do you'll find yourself in front of one of the many pools that can be found within the Palm House.

Oddly, there is no sign of the naiads now that you're here. The water is beautifully crystal clear and dappled with the snatches of moonlight managing to shine through the forest canopy. That water is calling out to you, to drink and to bathe - you will feel an overwhelming compulsion to start removing your stuffy clothing, dive right in and cool down.

It's fine, after all, there's no one else around. Yet.

Just be care those pesky water nymphs don't hide your clothes.

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GIVES YOU BUTTERFLIES... (NSFW)

CW: sex, aphrodisiac, sex pollen, insects

It's not just nymphs and you lot making yourselves at home in the Palm House.

Often mistaken for moths, there's one species group of nocturnal butterflies, but their wings are dull, plain, and uninteresting. Clearly not a good fit for a glorious Palm House, designed by Pheme herself. That is precisely why Pheme has created her own, never before seen species of night butterfly, especially for this occasion.

Their wings are like gossamer, beautifully transparent like a ordinary glasswing butterfly but these ones glow in the dark. You probably encounter one or two as you make your way through the rainforest, but the longer you spend in here, the more the butterflies begin to swarm. Looking up and you'll see a "kaleidoscope" high above your heads, hundreds of them flocking together in a brightly glowing mass above the treeline. The display is only brief, but it leaves you with a strange yet probably not unfamiliar feeling.

You see, these butterflies have been carrying pollen on their bodies and legs, as butterflies often do, helping to spread the stuff. It seems whatever plant they have recently been feeding from has some very curious properties... and you can probably guess where this is going.

You feel hot - even more than you already did being stuck in a tropical forest. Not only that, you feel the strongest desire for physical intimacy. Effects vary depending on how much pollen you've been doused with, but you still have a deep, desperate need to do something about it. For those most strongly affected and desiring the ultimate, touching yourself may bring some relief. That may very well be your first thought to try, but some is the operative word here.

That person you've always had a flirtation with? Now is the time. You have to have them. You have to have each other. Or maybe you've just met this person, here, in the rainforest today? Maybe you're two people who ordinarily don't even like each other? Perhaps there's more than two of you?

It doesn't matter. You won't rest until you've gotten that release.

Note: The butterflies swarm covers a wide enough area that you can be anywhere within the Palm House when their pollen hits. While this is obviously a sex pollen prompt, players can choose how strongly their characters have been affected. It may be that they only got the lightest dousing of pollen and kissing is enough to satisfy them. On the other hand, maybe they got so covered in the stuff that only doing the deed will do. The choice is yours.

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THAT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM

CW: chance for NSFW

So, you're not having much luck navigating your way out of this foliage filled nightmare? There is another way out. At some point on your travels, one of the naiads will take pity on you and try to help you out: "Find one of the wreaths!"

Deeper into the greenhouse, or this pseudo rainforest as it basically is, you'll find ancient Greek laurel wreaths made of pure gold. They might be just lying on the ground, or up a tree, or under the water in one of the forest pools... The choice is yours as to where you find it, We'll leave that entirely to your discretion.

It will take quite some doing given how far into the jungle these treasures are, but should you manage to find one, upon contact, it will teleport you, and whoever you might be holding onto, out of the greenhouse and right back to the entrance to the Pleasure Gardens again.

The wreaths won't be easy to find, and you'll face many obstacles along the way. Some set to distract you entirely from your goal, which is get the hell out of here. Unless you actually like it in here? You do you, boo. We're not judging.

The teleportation abilities of the wreaths themselves can only be activated by generating a small amount of Thumos between yourself and another first, another naiad will explain. That means no grabbing one for yourself and hightailing it out of here! Oh no, no, no. What about your chums? It would not be seemly to leave them in the lurch, after all.

Note: Obviously more than one character can use one of these wreaths to teleport out of the Palm House, as long as each of you has a hand on the item and you have generated Thumos between all of you then it will work.

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Wildcard

To assist you with inspiration our full list of Andovale's locations can be found here.

Want to play something that isn't listed here? Go ahead!

Please note that TDMs are considered game canon.

As stated above, both prospective and current characters who are already in game are permitted to top-level on TDMs. However, we do ask that current players be mindful and welcoming to prospective new players and that they do try and make the effort to tag out beyond their current in-game CR.

For newbies: As your first port of call, we would recommend having a read of the premise page, as well as our rules and FAQ.

For any general game questions you may have which are not answered by the FAQ then please leave a comment on the FAQ page - for any questions specific to this TDM then please respond to the questions comment below.

Most importantly - have fun!

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Okay, this looks bad. But, it's Coulson, so it could always look worse.

(Is it? Is it Coulson? This place is weird and wild enough that, while he questions it, Clint isn't going to point out the obvious just yet and simply roll with it.)

Clint waves a hand.] Keep your shirt on. Maybe I'll just make a hula skirt out of palm fronds and dance around for someone's enjoyment! [That last bit aimed at nothing and nowhere in particular. But if there's the subtle sound of high pitched giggling, well.

He takes the hand, and it's solid, which, honestly, he's actually surprised about. Takes the help up and out, dripping wet and looking like a very grumpy cat.]

How likely is it that my clothes just got magicked into thin air, never to be seen again?

Very likely. Lady Pheme, the Goddess who brought you here in the first place, likes to make drama. We're her reality television.

[ Phil takes a moment to look Barton over, looking for any scars he's not familiar with from his time as his handler. And admire the view a little. He's only human. ]

Before we really get into it, it's 2014 where I'm from. Yes, I'm back from the dead. Fury did it. Experimental science and some memory tampering. [ He toasts him with his drink. ] Captain Rogers is here and so is Loki. Both are farther in the timeline than I am.

[ He talks like he's giving a debrief which he basically is. ]

The palm fronds aren't a bad idea. The favored color right now is green.

[Okay. Answers a lot of questions. Brings up about a hundred more. This is not the time or place, he figures, so he's just going to roll with it ~~else we're going to repeat the same thread as last time~~ because really, a whole rundown of things that have happened, and the time travel shit, while being buckass naked in a mystical magical jungle greenhouse in fantasy England? Not the best time.

There are definitely newer scars unfamiliar to Coulson. Clint snorts softly.] If you want me to pose for some pictures later, I'll get my butler to add it to my absolutely packed social calendar.

I'm not actually gonna wear anything green. The Lady can come down from her high throne or whatever and come slap me with a 'kiss me I'm Irish' shirt or something if it offends her sensibilities so.

[He motions to Coulson's drink.] You gonna finish that?

I don't expect you'll make an effort to win her favor at all. [ Barton's not exactly a people pleaser. Phil hands over the drink without hesitation. ] But try to play nice with most people. I'm not sure yet how sever the consequences are for messing with her show.

[ Unsurprisingly, Phil hasn't caused any trouble. He's doing his best to be painfully boring which he's fantastic at doing. It's his specialty. ]

You might be able to message your retainer for clothes. I assume they're somewhere in this jungle as they're never very far. [ When he's really bored Phil will try to lose his for fun. It's probably only entertaining to a secret agent. ] Though, it is socially acceptable to swim nude during this time period. You're not breaking any social taboos right now.

[He takes the drink,] Thanks, [and breaks the glass against the nearest tree. Now he's got something sharp as a weapon or a tool.]

Yeah, also not going to go calling for my little freak who might be an LMD or the magical equivalent thereof. Do I want to be flashing every random stranger, no, not really. Does it bother my pride all that much, no, not really. [What's shame? Does it go well with burgers and beer?]

It's 2024, by the way. Last I checked on my calendar. Guessing that doesn't mean shit if Steve and--you said Loki? Maybe I'm the one that died. Maybe I'm actually the dead one all along, and this is hell.

Thank you for putting me in Hell with you. That's flattering.

[ Phil sighs about the glass but it's somewhat expected behavior for Barton. He'll make his own means of survival. ]

The retainers are simply spies for Lady Pheme. They're normal people as far as I can tell. Possibly with some given powers but they're not dangerous. Especially if you don't care about your reputation among high society. [ Which Clint absolutely will not. ] At most, they're an annoyance.

[ He nods and grimaces slightly. ] Yes, Loki's here. We've talked and haven't killed each other so I'd say we're both doing our best to amicable. He's different. He's changed since he killed me.

[Clint shoots an arm out to shove Phil right in the middle of the chest with the intention of sending him right into the water.

It might momentarily seem like fun and games, but he points a sharp and glassy edge at Coulson from his standpoint. It's no blade, but he holds it as easy as though it were one.]

See, now I'm starting to doubt who the fuck you are. Tell me something only Phil Coulson would know.

[ Phil thinks for half a second about grabbing Barton's arm to drag him in with him but they will only lead to having to fight off Barton trying to drown him so he doesn't. He lets himself hit the water and then kicks to the surface. ]

I built Lola with my father. Part by part. She's not a mid-life crisis like everyone thinks. She's the last part of him I have. And I've had her since I was sixteen.

[ He gives Clint an unamused look. ]

You know all these layers are heavy, right? Can I get out or are you going to move on to water boarding next?

[It's...frustrating, because that part's true, and very few people have any idea just how old and sentimental Lola is. But the not-damning appraisal of Loki and the idea that he's apparently been alive and running around for, what, a year, two years after his death...rankles. Pushes up against things that Clint is certain he knows.

Magical bullshit and timeline fuckery. Maybe. He lowers the glass.]

Hey, if you take them off, you won't be breaking any social taboos.

Good for me.

[ Phil swims to the edge and pulls himself up. He sits to take off his boots first. ]

I know this is hard to believe. Steve struggled with it. I'm struggling with it. I know why I'm in hiding right now. SHIELD's fallen and Fury passed it on to me to rebuild. Most government organizations want me arrested.

[ He sets the boots to the side and then stands up to shrug out of his waistcoat. The cravat gets yanked off in a particularly violent manner. ]

But why I never come out of hiding... I don't know. I can't tell you, Barton, because I haven't lived through it. All I can tell you is where I am and what happened to bring me back from the dead.

You don't hide from me.

[Hide from the government, hide from the public, hide from every acronymed agency under the sun, sure. Yes. Makes sense. But hide from everyone else? From the team? From him, from Natasha--

He grabs a hurt and angry fistful of sopping shirt.]

You don't hide from me.

And whatever multiversal branch of the timeline or whatever you come from, you better let the me that you know know you're out there. He's gonna need you.

[He lets go.]

[ It's impressive that Barton doesn't throw him in the water again. He certainly looks that angry. It's more impressive that Barton doesn't punch him. ]

There is another possibility. [ His tone is very calm, very business-like. The voice of a practical debrief. ] I'm insane. What was done to bring me back did bring people back but it broke them as well. I might eventually go out of my mind. I'm already sleep walking and carving strange symbols into walls without any conscious control on my part.

[ Anyone who knows him as well as Barton knows him will hear that under that boredom is real worry, real fear. He doesn't know what's happening to him and it's terrifying. ]

Maybe no one knows because I can't tell them. Because Phil Coulson isn't there anymore.

Jesus, Phil. [In spite of the jungle heat, he feels a chill.]

You got a team, right? Other agents trying to rebuild shit with you? [Fury trusts a single digit number of people, but one person alone can't rebuild what was lost.] They think you've gone around the bend?

I do. May's with me. She was assigned by Fury to make sure I didn't go insane right after I was brought back.

[ He pulls his shirt off and there's the scar over his heart. It's bigger on his back where the scepter went in and the damage was more extensive. Of course he died. There's no surviving something like that. ]

Fitzsimmons are monitoring my health though they don't know the full details. And I've got Skye. She's my latest stray I'm mentoring into an agent. I have good people.

[ But they're not Team Delta. ]

[Of course he looks. Of course he looks at the scarring left behind from Loki's good work. Makes himself not look away in spite of the ice forming in his gut, except to look at Phil's face.]

So you know you're not too far gone. You're still you. Even if it doesn't feel like it.

I don't know how much time I have left. [ Phil sighs heavily and shakes his head. ]

Well, at least we'll get good Thumos from this conversation. A small plus.

[ Yes, he's trying to change the topic. It's painful for both of them to talk about this. Phil doesn't have any good news and Barton only knows he never reaches out. What good does it do to speculate? ]

Phil.

[A hand, this time not in anger, on his shoulder.]

...Keep your pants on, okay, keep just a little bit of dignity. [Is what he ends up saying instead of anything heartfelt and important. Because it's all stoppered up in his chest, fit to burst, and they're going to have to talk about it. Eventually. Just maybe not right now. Keep it all swallowed down.] We both know I don't have any left to spare as it is.

Wet pants in this era are very uncomfortable. [ He appreciates the attempt. Barton's never been good at expressing emotions outside of anger and mistrust so a joke is, at least, an attempt. ]

But I guess there's no reason for the two of us to be naked. I still have something like dignity left. [ He smiles a little. ] Thanks, agent.

Wet pants in every era are uncomfortable. Hey, I'm not gonna stop you if you want to walk around with me both stark naked. I guess the Lady's letting us all do whatever for shits and giggles tonight. [But he'll at least gather up the rest of Phil's clothes. To try and make up.]

There's actually a complicated system of what's appropriate when and what behavior is allowed. I'm not sure if we're going to get demerits or not. [ He does strip out of his pants because they are painfully uncomfortable. They've known each other for so long that he's not the least bit bothered by Barton seeing him basically nude. ]

You're probably more entertaining to watch walk around naked than I am. [ Phil's fit but he's not Clint Barton fit. His muscles are softer as is his stomach. ] There was a welcoming party. It's where I got the drink. We could attempt to make our way back there. Or wait here until my clothes are dry.

In this humidity? Nah, we're not waiting for shit to dry. If you want some fronds for modesty's sake, be my guest. If I'm here for entertainment, then shit, guess I'll be entertaining. What's a demerit even look like around here? Dock my pay? [With what job?] Slap me on the wrist? [Kinky.]

As I've never received one I don't know. [ Phil is a good boy who keeps his head down. ] I imagine you won't get invited to the next event. Which is world ending for some of the people here.

[ Phil considers his state of dress. He genuinely doesn't care if people see his dick but the scar on his chest is so deeply personal that he doesn't want strangers to see it. ]

Can we sit here until my shirt is slightly less see-through?

...Yeah. Okay.

I'd say just leave 'em hanging in a tree, but given some sneaky fucks have absconded with mine, probably don't want to leave them unguarded. [Still, he sets the pieces aside, laid out flat, save for the shirt that he makes an effort to wring out, and sits at the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water.]

[ Phil sits next to him, also dangling his feet in the water. Were they somewhere high up it would be just like any number of ops they'd worked together over the years. He's grateful to have someone who knows him this well here. Someone else might ask why. Barton just agrees. ]

That'd be a shame. I like that jacket.

When you go back, [because it's not a question of if, but when] think you're gonna get into costumes and old timey jackets? Get real fancied up? Do reenactments and LARPing and shit?

I. WELCOME

II. AN INVITATION

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