memesoftheton | TFLN #1

TFLN #1

TEXTS FROM LAST GALA

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO..

This is for fun! Anyone can join; you don't have to be a member of our game to play on this meme. For those who are playing in The Ton, these threads are not considered canon and should not be put towards AC or rewards.

More importantly, be sure to mind your manners.

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1. man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set their townhouse on fire while drunk

2. he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off... i didn't know if i was more offended or impressed

3. this where we start a club for people who woke up outside on a bench with no idea how they got there?

4. there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check.

Edited 2023-04-14 10:26 (UTC)

1. According to the contents of this bucket, last night I swallowed a tin's worth of tea.

2. I just had someone from the gentleman's club by speaking my native language. All I had to do was recite my grocery list.

3. Seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me straight with scones, so don't be surprised when they get you an admirer in "that" way.

4. There's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers, my nail polish would fall right off.

5. (text him! or misfire.)

Edited 2023-04-14 10:10 (UTC)

1. I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka.

2. So, then the officer asked you how you were getting home, and you told him "very carefully".

3. To justify your stumbling, you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet.

4. Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

5. or make one up im not your supervisor

1. You did, in fact, cut me out of my dress with a sword.

2. I DID try to find you last night! I asked where you were and you texted me the letter “e” and a picture of the dark.

3. I was just handed a glass of mead the size of my head. Stay tuned.

4. No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted that you were the god of tits and wine.

5. I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

6. Text her!

1. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and coffee.

2. I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?

3. JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.

4. I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink.

5. Text her!

1. I had a dream I got back with Bix. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my subconscious is a dick
2. I mean besides the fact someone's hand got cut off, I still had a pretty good night.
3. I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different planets
4. He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
5. A Jedi just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
6. Wildcard!

Pocket dial. Swear to God.

[ That's his story and he's sticking to it. ]

Sounds like you had a time.

Edited 2023-04-14 12:35 (UTC)

i. I want to put all the cats in top hats. Haha, that rhymed!
ii. We have successfully drawn four hundred and ninty-two dicks on various surfaces in the ballroom, I think that is a new personal record, ja.
iii. You were not there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf-- it is what you would've wanted, I think?
iv. Meet me out back for 'Dinosaur Fight Club'-- do not worry freund, I will polymorph you.
v. Sorry about that whole 'setting your boat on fire' thing.
vi. In emergency situations-- cat food counts as protein.
vii. I am recruiting for the 'Disaster Bisexual Association'-- care to join? Membership is free.

[ Or text him! ]

You are exaggerating-- it was only one. single. chaise. lounge.

don't think that smoke damage is coming out anytime soon.

how's the head?

My head is keeping time like a respectable zemnian beer hall; complete with enthusiastic foot stomping. And yours?
I am not the only one who was unscathed last night, ja.

Yeah, that's not happening.
If I see you so much as wiggle a finger at me in some bullshit magical way you're gonna have your own fight club, up close and personal.

[ let's be real, leon is highly unlikely to punch out caleb. he likes the guy too much. ]

Same, but instead of coffee-- for me it is cats.

To clarify, I do not drink cats.

Have you ever been a dinosaur before, though? I do not think that you should knock it until you try it.

[ And Caleb would go down, like a wet noodle, if in fact he was punched. ]

Edited 2023-04-14 12:42 (UTC)

Would not the hats just fall off? Or do you mean to take a top hat and put a cat in it?

Sounds like something I'll leave to the experts.

[ last time anyone was transformed in his presence, shots were fired. to say he and transformations don't get along is a gross understatement. ]

I think that science and research dictates we do both.

[ pause before the next text comes ]

Not going to lie however, my heart is set on a dozen cats in top hats parading about.

Well perhaps we change the rules of the game. Here is what I propose.

[ People mistake Caleb for being serious, he is; but also he is ridiculous ]

Two dinosaurs, two riders-- the riders are holding those pool noodles, and we rename it to 'Dinosaur Joust Club'. I'll let you ride me into battle, ja.

can't find my pants my place smells like a brewery and someone stuck a sword in my mattress i'd say i'm doing alright

[ might be holding a bucket between his knees and praying for the sweet embrace of death ]

Jesus, Widogast, do you even read the shit you text me?
riding you into battle christ

I. I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the Pheme was my friend
II. I chased Bacardi with meat sauce last night
III. I just remember making out with this one guy, washing blood off my hands and hearing the maids were looking for me.
IV. NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight: Shaxx or Annie!
V. You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
VI. Text him!

Perhaps they can be wearing top hats while in top hats?

well arguably, I would be a dinosaur, and you would be carrying a pool noodle.

Excuse me, I have to step away for a moment; the urge to squeal like a teenage girl is rising in me and is nigh unavoidable.

Oh. I see, noted. Is it possible for your voice to go that high?

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TFLN #1

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